Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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