it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
