It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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