I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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