it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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