dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
