And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
