So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my shit smells like andre
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
