So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
