We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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