Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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