Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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