everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
