Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
you never un-have a 4some
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
