I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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