Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
