Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize