Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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