Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
