i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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