Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
