i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i dont even know how to be here
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am naked and annoyed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
