he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
