i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
