I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Is it because I queefed?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
