should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
