I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
