my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
