handjob tips. give me some.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize