Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
