Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
