It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
