You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
