'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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