no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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