you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
