Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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