i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
