I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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