Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize