dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
