I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
