I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
