I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
