i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
