Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
