It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
