I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
