Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
