God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
