i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
