We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
