I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
