Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize