Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
