i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
