I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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