I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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