i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
