He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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