that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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