bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
