the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
